14 Comments

“These days you need staff to be a parent” made me laugh out loud while literally running to pick my kids up from school in time because I had gotten caught up in the spiral of gift planning. Thank you for calling out this insanity!

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Thank you for confirming that I never need to read Spare!

I'm excited to learn about the existence of Naked in Baghdad and am adding it to my to-read list. I love women's travel stories. :)

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Let me know what you think if you get to it!

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Not to make it all about me, but at first glance I panicked that you might have hated my audiobook, but of course that's impossible, because my narrator was incredible, and he managed to make a prison memoir far more entertaining than it had a right to be.

I found Harry and Meghan perfectly winning and articulate in the Netflix doc series, so the unkemptness of his memoir surprises me. I suspect the publishing house had editors who were dazzled by his royal celebrity and just couldn't say no to him, or issue corrective memos about his prose or organizational narrative prowess.

But I am glad you contrasted it with Anne Garrels' book, and you shared so many details that made hers such a winning memoir. I shall put it on my list.

So happy the hubs and I did family on Thanksgiving and on Christmas will simply go see Wicked. I certainly don't envy you, but if you are giving the daughter the kind of memories my parents gave us, (and we were five!) it is well worth it in the long run. If exhausting.

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Thank you, Mark! That’s very kind. I did not watch the Netflix doc and I don’t think I will be doing so— but “unkemptness” is the word! There were so many continuity issues in what I read. I specifically remember a scene where he says he is 13 years old, and at some public event with his father where he reaches for his Dad’s hand. At 13 years old? Doubtful. Just so many things a copy editor would have caught— I’m certain he had a copy editor, no way he didn’t—- but I just don’t understand all the timeline issues that stayed in the book.

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Your thoughts on Spare...NAILED IT!!

You made it farther than I did. Although I was trying to read the actual book, which is more like a good door stop. Having been a life long royal fan and admirer of the Queen who has devoured everything there is, I couldn't make it through the first few pages. I tried. But, I was likely coming at the book with a negative bias already. Having seen clips of interviews with him and his lack of self awareness was astounding. Perhaps if he had tried writing a book AFTER extensive years in counselling he may have been able to offer up some kind of perspective that wasn't just "poor me" naval gazing and so completely detached from any kind of perspective. It was painful and I couldn't do it.

The fact that he did it when the Queen was still alive was another blow I just couldn't reconcile. He states his love and devotion to his Gran, and yet... the institution that she represented and gave up any semblance of normal life to serve he tried to tear down brick by brick. It was so out of touch, I just couldn't continue. And the betrayal of his brother...don't get me started. No wonder William won't talk to him. How could he about anything real or deep anymore? I also couldn't bring myself to watch the documentary with his wife. The Oprah interview was enough for me. I wish him well and hope that he gets the help he needs because I do think as an individual he's a good guy.

I think he needed money and was given some very bad advice. The delay of the book release and his attempt to re-write some of it after the Queen died was I hope a tiny part of his conscience saying, "maybe this isn't such a good idea?" He's got a lifetime of childhood trauma to unpack and understand before he should be writing anything with any kind of insight. I think the publishing house just saw big $$ signs and didn't want to stop the train wreck. My two cents!

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I could not agree with you more! I kept making these faces in the car like--- am I losing my mind or is this the least self aware thing I've ever heard? I remember when I learned that it was coming out thinking-- oh man, this is coming out like two decades too soon. He needs to sit with this a bit more...let it simmer, fester even more than his wounds already have until he can WRITE THE MEMOIR WITHOUT BEING ANGRY + REVENGEFUL. I put that in caps because it's some of my most important advice to writers-- write the first draft angry. Write the second draft angry. Try not to publish angry. You can write about difficult topics-- even traumatic topics-- in a myriad of ways, including from a place of angry, but if the entire book is angry, to me, I think that means that you published it too early.

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When I started writing early in my recovery journey I was angry and my writing felt revengeful or just an emotional dump. Even I didn't like it! While I needed to get it all out of my system, I couldn't publish it. (Isn't that what journal's are for?) It's only years later that I am just dipping my baby toe into touching the subjects that caused such pain and deep reflection. It's advice from writers like yourself and others when I first came to Substack that helped me to know NOT to do the angry scribe thing! Don't wanna be like Harry! Perhaps that can be a motto you can use as a writing teacher/mentor/guide if you see people taking on a subject and it's too soon! Or a good workshop idea?!

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Indeed, yes. I think it's such a crucial thing to understand.

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Hi Courtney,

Oh, I read SPARE in summer 2023. Overall, I thought it was decently written. I felt empathy for Prince Harry. But YES the Nazi costume?! Absolutely shocked me that he didn't see a problem with it and, in fact, thought it was funny. The only thing I considered was that maybe he really WAS that naive.

The other part that I found drab in SPARE was the middle portion. I felt he droned on about his military service in great detail, and I got lost. In fact, I felt a bit antagonistic (hence, maybe the road rage you're mentioning here).

But if I'm speaking generally, I did appreciate his perspective, particularly on the impact of his mother's death and on his relationship with his father. I grew up in the 80s/90s, and my mom was OBSESSED with Princess Diana. I recall, as a 16-year-old, watching the news of her untimely death at a friend's house. And since that time, I have wondered what it might have been like for her boys.

I guess I will add one final thought about SPARE: I think what Prince Harry did was brave--separating himself from the Royal Family, that is. Before reading the book, I had a sour taste in my mouth for the British monarchy, at least what I knew about how they operated and how they treated their family (e.g., QEII had a cousin with a disability whom she never mentioned, never saw, never claimed as family. The cousin was institutionalized and basically banished from the family, and that absolutely enraged me, because I have a daughter with a disability.)

I have not read the other book you mentioned, but I'll check it out. Hope you enjoy your holiday, despite the chaos!

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She had multiple cousins who are "disabled" due to centuries of inbreeding. They adored her and she, of course, could not visit or acknowledge them. Everyone knows they have a LOT of German blood. And King (Edward? was it) who abdicated was pro-Nazi. As for the Nazi costume, I guess you don't know any British blue bloods. They think a lot of things are "funny". They don't really live in reality. I am even more sympathetic towards Megan than Harry and Harry's really the only British royal I can relate to. They are extraordinarily dysfunctional and Britain is even more dysfunctional than the royal family for allowing them to continue as they have. They should nationalize the royal family. Britain is facing complete financial chaos and ruin. I love Harry's humanity. I think it's AMAZING anyone could come out of that family with his humanity. Charles was a mess of a parent (and partner) because his parents did not raise him. Not unusual in the British upperclass, however.

Not sure about Anne Garrels. I'll check out her book, however. Did she ever file a report that got through their (required) pro-Zionist CEO? I rather doubt it. The (required) pro-Zionist "ombudsman"? What a joke. Again, I doubt it. You cannot report about the Middle East for the Corporation of Public Broadcasting without "neglecting" to tell the whole truth. Or even telling any of the truth. Clinton made a deal with the CPB during the government shut-down in the 90's because Newt Gingrich demanded it as a condition for continued financing of the CPB--and that was the head of the Corporation and each branch had to be a Zionist.

Which explains their current failures.

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Oooh. Lots to think about here and nope-- I don't know any British blue bloods, only people who want to be British blue bloods? I don't know the specifics of how Anne filed reports but I appreciate all you have shared here!

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Thanks for the clarification, Nosey Parker. I appreciate it, especially about the British monarchy. Truthfully, I’m not surprised, but I admit I haven’t delved deeply into the history or researched much about them. I was simply stating my personal observations, based on what little I do know about them. Dysfunctional is an apt word.

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I have Prince Harry to thank for your subscription! Thank you, Harry ! I wonder if reading the book versus hearing him read it is a different experience? I know many people who, like you, absolutely adored this book. Thank you for your comment!

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