This is such an interesting and generous post. I have such empathy for those with insomnia. I’m a Super Sleeper, and I can’t imagine the kind of angst and frustration that comes from not being able to rest when you want to. I’m so sorry to hear that you have to have surgery again, but I’m glad you’re finding some relief in hypnosis. (My mom, too, was hypnotized for smoking cessation.) Anyway, the experience itself sounded so lovely that I might talk to Louise to see if hypnosis might help me continue to process and grieve the recent deaths of my mom and my sister. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you many nights of peaceful slumber.
What a wonderful list you've provided here, Courtney. I appreciate the holistic approach to mental health, and the sharing your experience of hypnotherapy.
As a therapist myself, I'm not sure I have such a robust inventory of things I do.
What I can think of off the top of my head is getting in a regular movement practice of some kind. For me this is spin. I've found that vigorous exercise helps me sleep better, though I still have trouble.
I grew up doing ballet, have a barre at home and have been considering making my way back to that, so was happy to see your mention of it!
Also, seeing and/or speaking with friends regularly. I tend to withdraw when I'm really struggling so having that low-key routinized (once or twice weekly) can be helpful.
Being outside every day.
A mindfulness practice of some kind. I especially like a two-minute sit. Some people like more, I tend to focus on quality over quantity.
A last one: taking care of what is needed (high stress, long-standing back-burner activities).
One last thing - I've found, both personally and as a clinician who works with others, that what I do consistently over time is what produces the greatest effect. So in addition to what you do, I think it's important to mention that how you do it can be equally impactful.
Hooray for hypnosis! I had similar reservations, but I’m doing some hypnosis work to prepare for my second birth. It’s powerful stuff. Also—how did I not know you’re also a recovering Ashtangi? I’ve been practicing since 2012 but had to seriously tone down the whole two-hour-a-day-6-days-a-week quest to wedge my legs behind my head and/or grab my own ankles in a backbend after I got pregnant in 2020. I need to check out the Yoga Nidra programs you suggest here. Thanks for the rec!
Just another proof that we are actually sisters. This is going to sound like an ad but give Ballet Beautiful a try. If you can get past the teacher's Paris Hilton-like voice, you'll find the strictness and effectiveness of Ashtanga but in 12 minute doses. And you don't have to drive anywhere! (My studio was 30 min away from me so basically I dedicated entire day parts to Ashtanga back in the day.) https://www.balletbeautiful.com
Many of mine are on your list. I also do cold ocean dips in the morning. Yoga nidra I need to try again. I don’t like having my phone in my bedroom so got out of that habit.
I agree with you-- I hate that I have to use my phone for Yoga Nidra. If only I lived on the ocean! We have a pond we can drive to but I can't get there daily-- my friend has a well we cold plunge in sometimes but it's 50 degrees and I feel like I'm having a heart attack when I get in that thing, plus there are a LOT of frogs ;)
A giant sea lion popped up during my swim last week. Just about had a heart attack myself! I had to swim back to a bouy and wait until his curiousity was sated and he swam away. That was a first!
Here is my newly discovered method of getting better sleep: Separate beds. My husband has insomnia and a very small window in which to go to sleep, and so we are trying out sleeping in separate rooms and it is blissful. I sleep better too!
Yes! My partner and I have separate bedrooms. It’s the only way I’ll agree to live in the same house. I cannot sleep with him in the room (snoring, usually) and that impacts everything else in body and mind. This has been a tremendous blessing for our relationship.
This was wonderful. Generous. I used to be able to sleep any time any where. Those were the days. It comes and goes in waves for me. I find repeating a yoga chant helps when I wake up because it replaces the monkey mind. And I put on an eye mask as the light approaches. It not only shields the light, but it can be soothing.
I was also so touched by the story of Abuelita. I hope she's doing well.
Thank you so much, Nancy. Abuelita is in a horse sanctuary working with incarcerated men who are learning vocational training so they can work with racehorses when they get out of prison. It's a special program called "Second Chances" - the men can't have domestic or animal abuse in their pasts and they have a maximum of two years left of time to serve. I met some of them when I dropped Abuelita off-- they care very, very deeply for these animals-- so many of whom have been mistreated, abused and discarded just like them. The sanctuary will take care of her for the rest of her life, but I still sponsor her for food and other needs. The tough thing is that the prison never lifted Covid restrictions-- I can only visit once a year which is really, really tough. They send pictures occasionally and she looks beautiful. Thank you for asking about her.
2. Magnesium cream and spray - like you said, I apply the cream to the bottom of my feet and behind my legs before bed.
3. 15-20 minute walk outdoors daily.
4. No blue light one hour before sleep
5. CBD calm oil
6. Sometimes THC gummies, but they're not legal in my state (go figure), so I have to ration our supply until we can replenish it.
7. Agree on talk therapy - I do weekly or biweekly sessions.
8. I stop drinking anything an hour before I go to bed.
9. Agree on minimizing alcohol - I limit myself to 2 glasses of dry red wine on Saturdays and Sundays (with wiggle room for holidays).
10. I am sensitive to caffeine, so I limit my intake to one mug of green tea with my breakfast. I also avoid refined sugar, as this exacerbates my anxiety.
Whatever it takes. I like Accupuncture, massage, meditation, mindlessness. Walking is a must. Big article about sleep in the Times today. Thanks for your always-generous offerings.
I am glad hypnosis worked for you. I did a six week hypnosis clinic at Mass General Hospital years ago, that failed, I think probably because I was a tough subject. This was for a pretty debilitating plane phobia, not sleep, though. I later tried EMDR therapy, which employs moving your eyes horizontally with light ( not unlike the way the do it with a pendant in old movies) and for me, alternating tones in my ears, as well as talk therapy. It's highly successful on veterans for PTSD. It was one of the miracles of my life.
I’m staying sane by a daily 20 qigong practice along with morning pages, and serious cuddles with my dog. 🐶 I’m also staying away from the insanity of the news.
I’m so glad you got relief from hypnosis. It’s a powerful tool. I was a somatic healing hypnotherapist in another life, and have seen miracles…our subconscious knows. I wonder if one could use the “vision quest” to write scenes and plot lines!! Or get us “unstuck” when we are blocked? As an aside, I incorporated hypnosis in focus groups for brand/product development. (Also another life) It might work for writers. Maybe ask your friend?
Oh absolutely-- Louise would be a wonderful assist with that kind of goal-- she's a devoted reader and has lots of literary connections. There is an article about her work in the Paris Review.
This is such an interesting and generous post. I have such empathy for those with insomnia. I’m a Super Sleeper, and I can’t imagine the kind of angst and frustration that comes from not being able to rest when you want to. I’m so sorry to hear that you have to have surgery again, but I’m glad you’re finding some relief in hypnosis. (My mom, too, was hypnotized for smoking cessation.) Anyway, the experience itself sounded so lovely that I might talk to Louise to see if hypnosis might help me continue to process and grieve the recent deaths of my mom and my sister. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you many nights of peaceful slumber.
I think she would be helpful and supportive for that purpose. I’m so sorry for your loss, Katrina.
Love this. Thank you, Courtney.
Thank you for reading!
What a wonderful list you've provided here, Courtney. I appreciate the holistic approach to mental health, and the sharing your experience of hypnotherapy.
As a therapist myself, I'm not sure I have such a robust inventory of things I do.
What I can think of off the top of my head is getting in a regular movement practice of some kind. For me this is spin. I've found that vigorous exercise helps me sleep better, though I still have trouble.
I grew up doing ballet, have a barre at home and have been considering making my way back to that, so was happy to see your mention of it!
Also, seeing and/or speaking with friends regularly. I tend to withdraw when I'm really struggling so having that low-key routinized (once or twice weekly) can be helpful.
Being outside every day.
A mindfulness practice of some kind. I especially like a two-minute sit. Some people like more, I tend to focus on quality over quantity.
A last one: taking care of what is needed (high stress, long-standing back-burner activities).
One last thing - I've found, both personally and as a clinician who works with others, that what I do consistently over time is what produces the greatest effect. So in addition to what you do, I think it's important to mention that how you do it can be equally impactful.
Speaking to friends is the best form of therapy! So nice to take time to catch up and enjoy a good long conversation, even if it’s on the phone!
Hooray for hypnosis! I had similar reservations, but I’m doing some hypnosis work to prepare for my second birth. It’s powerful stuff. Also—how did I not know you’re also a recovering Ashtangi? I’ve been practicing since 2012 but had to seriously tone down the whole two-hour-a-day-6-days-a-week quest to wedge my legs behind my head and/or grab my own ankles in a backbend after I got pregnant in 2020. I need to check out the Yoga Nidra programs you suggest here. Thanks for the rec!
Just another proof that we are actually sisters. This is going to sound like an ad but give Ballet Beautiful a try. If you can get past the teacher's Paris Hilton-like voice, you'll find the strictness and effectiveness of Ashtanga but in 12 minute doses. And you don't have to drive anywhere! (My studio was 30 min away from me so basically I dedicated entire day parts to Ashtanga back in the day.) https://www.balletbeautiful.com
Many of mine are on your list. I also do cold ocean dips in the morning. Yoga nidra I need to try again. I don’t like having my phone in my bedroom so got out of that habit.
I agree with you-- I hate that I have to use my phone for Yoga Nidra. If only I lived on the ocean! We have a pond we can drive to but I can't get there daily-- my friend has a well we cold plunge in sometimes but it's 50 degrees and I feel like I'm having a heart attack when I get in that thing, plus there are a LOT of frogs ;)
A giant sea lion popped up during my swim last week. Just about had a heart attack myself! I had to swim back to a bouy and wait until his curiousity was sated and he swam away. That was a first!
Here is my newly discovered method of getting better sleep: Separate beds. My husband has insomnia and a very small window in which to go to sleep, and so we are trying out sleeping in separate rooms and it is blissful. I sleep better too!
Have been doing it for a year and I agree!
Yes! My partner and I have separate bedrooms. It’s the only way I’ll agree to live in the same house. I cannot sleep with him in the room (snoring, usually) and that impacts everything else in body and mind. This has been a tremendous blessing for our relationship.
This was wonderful. Generous. I used to be able to sleep any time any where. Those were the days. It comes and goes in waves for me. I find repeating a yoga chant helps when I wake up because it replaces the monkey mind. And I put on an eye mask as the light approaches. It not only shields the light, but it can be soothing.
I was also so touched by the story of Abuelita. I hope she's doing well.
Thank you so much, Nancy. Abuelita is in a horse sanctuary working with incarcerated men who are learning vocational training so they can work with racehorses when they get out of prison. It's a special program called "Second Chances" - the men can't have domestic or animal abuse in their pasts and they have a maximum of two years left of time to serve. I met some of them when I dropped Abuelita off-- they care very, very deeply for these animals-- so many of whom have been mistreated, abused and discarded just like them. The sanctuary will take care of her for the rest of her life, but I still sponsor her for food and other needs. The tough thing is that the prison never lifted Covid restrictions-- I can only visit once a year which is really, really tough. They send pictures occasionally and she looks beautiful. Thank you for asking about her.
Hi Courtney,
Thanks for sharing this thoughtful post!
Within your bulleted list at the end, I, too, incorporate the following into my anti-anxiety/ nervous system reset:
1. Essential oils: mixture of 6 drops cedarwood, 4 drops lavender, 3 drops tangerine.
2. Magnesium cream and spray - like you said, I apply the cream to the bottom of my feet and behind my legs before bed.
3. 15-20 minute walk outdoors daily.
4. No blue light one hour before sleep
5. CBD calm oil
6. Sometimes THC gummies, but they're not legal in my state (go figure), so I have to ration our supply until we can replenish it.
7. Agree on talk therapy - I do weekly or biweekly sessions.
8. I stop drinking anything an hour before I go to bed.
9. Agree on minimizing alcohol - I limit myself to 2 glasses of dry red wine on Saturdays and Sundays (with wiggle room for holidays).
10. I am sensitive to caffeine, so I limit my intake to one mug of green tea with my breakfast. I also avoid refined sugar, as this exacerbates my anxiety.
Yes to all this! I do almost all these things as well.
Whatever it takes. I like Accupuncture, massage, meditation, mindlessness. Walking is a must. Big article about sleep in the Times today. Thanks for your always-generous offerings.
Oh really-- what was the headline? I'll look it up or maybe you can drop a link?
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/09/08/briefing/improving-sleep-hacks.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&sgrp=c-cb
I am glad hypnosis worked for you. I did a six week hypnosis clinic at Mass General Hospital years ago, that failed, I think probably because I was a tough subject. This was for a pretty debilitating plane phobia, not sleep, though. I later tried EMDR therapy, which employs moving your eyes horizontally with light ( not unlike the way the do it with a pendant in old movies) and for me, alternating tones in my ears, as well as talk therapy. It's highly successful on veterans for PTSD. It was one of the miracles of my life.
I LOVE EMDR! I had a lot of success with it myself for things that caused me anxiety. I'm glad you found something that brought you some relief.
I’m staying sane by a daily 20 qigong practice along with morning pages, and serious cuddles with my dog. 🐶 I’m also staying away from the insanity of the news.
I’m so glad you got relief from hypnosis. It’s a powerful tool. I was a somatic healing hypnotherapist in another life, and have seen miracles…our subconscious knows. I wonder if one could use the “vision quest” to write scenes and plot lines!! Or get us “unstuck” when we are blocked? As an aside, I incorporated hypnosis in focus groups for brand/product development. (Also another life) It might work for writers. Maybe ask your friend?
Have a peaceful Sunday!
Oh absolutely-- Louise would be a wonderful assist with that kind of goal-- she's a devoted reader and has lots of literary connections. There is an article about her work in the Paris Review.
There's a hypnosis app called "Mesmerize" I was skeptical of, but, as an insomniac, has proven invaluable!
Oh very cool! Glad to know about it! At what point of the day do you use it-- bedtime?
Yes! It's become a habit. There is a fee--$50 annually?-- but it's worth it.