I’m positive this has already been said, but find a reason bigger than your discomfort, and don’t give yourself a choice about whether or not to show up.
This is all true and stellar advice. Very very small is what I need. I did some of my PT yesterday and this morning— mostly out of peer pressure from my wonderful readers, I think !
Hire a trainer and learn to lift weights (barbells). Start with the deadlift and the bench press. You will find extrinsic and intrinsic motivation when you see you are able to add a few (a few!) pounds every workout. Barbell deadlift, bench, squat, and overhead press, plus the barbell row, will strengthen many muscle systems at once so you won't have to do fussy little exercises (YMMV though since you said you need physical therapy -- do that too). Get the book "A Physical Education" by Casey Johnston - she does such a great job of telling you what it's like to learn to lift.
While I recognize that this would be very, very good for me…deadlifting just isn’t in my wheelhouse. It just isn’t. Maybe it will have to be at some point but right now, I’d rather have a colonoscopy than go lift weights at a gym. I know it works super well for many people, especially women, and I’m happy it works for you.
Fair enough! If anyone else reading has ever been curious about what it's like to start lifting, and to be surprised by the rewards of it, I hope people will read the book I mentioned above. Casey is a good reporter and the book is a really good combo of memoir and information. (I teach adults to lift, many of them older than 65, and I recommend this book to all of them even though Casey is in her late 30s.)
The post is so relatable and the ideas that spring to mind are probably quite similar to those you would give to people who don't nurture their writing practice as they feel they should:
1. Get a tracker so you can be extrinsically motivated and rewarded
2. Don't tackle everything at once. Pick one or two activities from those you know you should do and find incremental success. Success breeds success.
3. Find something similar to what's on the list of "shoulds" that you would actually enjoy. After all, at the end of the day, moving at all (writing some) is always going to be better than holding on to the current inertia
4. Exercise, like writing, is a habit. Start somewhere (see above) with a structure that works for you, not what someone prescribes or what you believe you ought to do
I struggle with physiotherapy exercises too because they are SO. MINDNUMBINGLY. BORING. But I do like lifting weights in the gym, so I do that around 4x per week. So I guess my advice is to find something you like and do that? Might not help on the physio side of things, though!
oh god, i kinda hate this post cuz it's so timely. i too have slacked for the past 2 years and told myself for sure this summer and...now it is almost august. but one thing that did work (will work again oh please?) in the past was to start with the props: lay out that exercise mat and weights. put on the sports bra and shorts. it's almost too ridiculous to put all that shit away WITHOUT having used them. good luck to all of us!
I'm considering going to an endocrinologist to make sure I'm doing right by my body chemistry. 51 years old and probably perimenopausal, so all bets are off when it comes to what worked for my body 15 years ago!
Another thing! Back in 2019, the morning of New Year's Eve, I created a morning routine. 100 abs ( I do them in bed). Squats and lunges while brushing my teeth. 100 jumping jacks (ideally outdoors) to get blood flowing and sun on my face (sometimes I run in place because at our age, jumping jacks can make you pee), some arm thing (like 20 triceps backwards push-ups. No idea what they are called. I put each step on my daily post-it note 'to-do' list and cross them off. It's fast and makes me feel like I've done something productive.
Sexy (legit) neuroscientist guru Andrew Huberman has so many tips on habit-forming and morning routines. If your insomnia has you up at dawn, take advantage of the first daylight. The color spectrum does something magical (scientific) to our brains.
Ok. Honesty. 1) I run because it keeps my brain from exploding with thoughts. I'm saving the heavy drugs for when I really lose it. No judgement. I'm just biding my time. Some people meditate for focus. I must move... I've worked out chapters and even crafted essays five km in. It's also good cardio and keeps my legs strong. 2) I am single. That's motivating. I don't care what anybody says. Ideal world... blah blah blah. Physical appearance matters. At least it does to me. If I expect a man my age (also 46) or younger to be fit, I better be fit myself. 3) Marathons. I love the energy. Never cared about my pace. Try a race! It's contagious once you learn to listen to your body and ignore the time-clock. Just being in the moment with all of those people, doing the opposite of sitting alone at the writing desk, is so beautiful and balancing. I don't train. I just run often enough to make sure my body still can. And that seems to work pretty well so far. 4) Running is low maintenance. You need the right shoes (orthos included) and comfy clothes. Pump up the jams and enjoy. Treat yourself at the end. Dopamine is all about the chase. Lately I added some kilometers to my route expressly to reach an amazing espresso place. Good luck!
Thank you for sharing my essay class, Courtney! Here's how I motivate myself to exercise:
1. "Based on your age, sedentary lifestyle, and current fitness level, you won't even see significant improvements for about a year." Said to me by my physical therapist who helped me build up leg muscles after multiple knee cap dislocations. (It was PT and strength training, or surgery. I didn't want to do surgery).
It may not sound very motivational, but for me it took so much pressure off and gave me a realistic frame of reference. I knew exercise would be good for me, but I needed something to hold onto when it sucked the first six months. Because, yeah, that's how long I actually hated it, cried into my sweat, cursed the entire class time, and was always the slowest/last to finish/lightests weights/etc.
2. "All you have to do is get your ass in the door." My coach, after I said I didn't think I could build a workout habit that lasted. I chose a small gym, 5 minutes from my house with weightlifting classes that were expensive but led by coaches who'd build out every day's workout, structured into four week phases that alternate between muscle growth and conditioning (and a bunch of other stuff I don't know or understand and it doesn't matter because I only have to show up). Because the classes are small, my gym buddies and coaches give me shit if I miss a day, which is the kind of accountability I need. I didn't want to do it for myself in the beginning and instead of shaming myself, I worked WITH my need for a little peer pressure.
I always wanted to try weightlifting but was afraid to hurt myself and intimidated by gym bros. That's why I'm paying more to have the stuff that scares me taken care of, so I only have to focus on one thing each morning - get my ass in the door. I don't have to stay or work out. I can half ass it. I can just watch. My only job is to show up.
3. "Bones and Brain!" I thought getting ripped would be motivational, but it's not. Being terrified of surgery, of repeated dislocations, of bones snapping, and deep depression is what actually motivated me to keep going when I didn't want to. I chanted "bones and brain" to myself when I didn't want to go, or when I thought I had to earn a cupcake, or when I was sad that I'd actually gained weight (muscle) instead of getting skinnier.
At my age (43) it's harder to build and maintain muscle and accept these limitations now. I'm the strongest I've ever been in my life, but I've been at it for nearly 3 years, five times a week, and I only marginally "look" fitter. I realized that I used to lose motivation because I wanted to look better, not feel better.
This is not to say people can't have different reasons. I'm only saying I don't lose motivation for feeling better, but I have lost motivation many times for trying to look better.
4. Do it without motivation and hate it the entire time.
1-3 all sort of motivated me, but truly, motivation is overrated. I was always picked last in PE and never considered myself an athlete and I had such little muscle development that I couldn't even lift a full coffee pot without my arm shaking.
I picked weightlifting based on many different health reasons and because I was intrigued and because I wanted to feel like a badass. But I was not motivated to do the work itself. What helped me to keep going was trying to avoid knee surgery, research that exercise works better than antidepressants and I was suffering from seasonal depression, spending a shit ton of money for my gym membership and then making it worth it, having accountability built in (small classes, engaged coaches, a friend who went with me), removing barriers/excuses (picking gym close to my house, building it into my morning routine after my writing time, blocking it out on my calendar).
Okay, this is so damn long, I better stop. I'll just say, it might suck for a very long time until you start liking it and feeling better. In case that happens, there is nothing wrong with you.
Almost three years in - it's worth it. I just did my first ever pull up. My arms no longer shake when pouring coffee. I don't need knee surgery! I can hike anywhere I want. I installed an overhead microwave without crushing my own skull. I do feel like a badass :)
I have never in my life been able to be a pull up-- that's wild. Good for you. It sounds like you are in wildly amazing shape. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!
I wrote that whole thing before realizing that you didn't mean exercising in general, but finding the motivation to do your at-home PT exercises. Oooops! I never once did my at-home exercises!! Also, nobody has ever called me "in wildly amazing shape," but I'm totally claiming that for myself now :) Keep me posted on which suggestions you try.
It’s my fault— I don’t think I specified enough that I do enjoy exercise in general, just not my PT. Which is what I have to do if I want to keep having a useful body! But others will find your tips so useful, I have no doubt!
Whenever I resist doing something that will be good for my wellbeing but feels as if it will take monstrous amounts of effort, I ask myself how I can bring ease to the activity. What is the tiniest possible step I could take to get me started? Instead of 25 sit-ups, what about one sit-up? Instead of a 30-second plank, what about a 5-second plank? Or setting a 1-minute timer. Even something as practical as putting on a sports bra and running shoes every morning makes me more likely to move. I also embrace the potentially not-mathematically-accurate saying, “One is infinitely more than zero,” which helps deprogram my brain from the perfectionism that tells me something is only worth doing if I do it “right.” Who’s to say what “right” is? I think much of these principles hold true in establishing practices around writing, so you might also ask yourself what about your writing practice has transferability to your exercise practice/posture practice. Also, being gentle with myself tends to be much more helpful than berating myself! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Yes-- you are totally right and this resonates with me. One sit up a day and then my competitive streak will kick in, like, one sit up only? That's silly!
Courtney- I'm with you... I've found that I cannot do things from a piece of paper - I need someone to do it with me whether they are on an app or video or in person or whatever they have to literally be telling me what to do - tons of videos out there- live zoom etc etc message me if you want recs!
I realize I benefit from great privilege in being able to do this but I work out with a personal trainer twice a week. Having committed to doing so, I show up. I also got a list of daily exercises from a physical therapist. I hated them but tried them for a bit. They helped so now I do the ones that come more naturally. Perhaps promise yourself you will try for a week and then see how you feel. If they help, you might be motivated to continue.
This might seem counterintuitive, but I would recommend a daily guided meditation practice. Jack Kornfield has a wonderful introductory one called Mindfulness Daily. It's a 40-day guided course and only takes up 5 minutes or so of your morning. https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/course_mindfulness-daily You can get it on the InsightTimer App.
The reason I recommend meditation for exercise is that it calms your entire nervous system and grows your attention - for real - building new neural pathways, which give you the means to follow through on your deeper wishes and resolutions whether they be to do sit-ups - read more - or focus more deeply on your writing. And no need to freak out about meditation. it's not about controlling your thoughts, but observing them as they wander all over the place.
Getting a meditation and exercise buddy for accountability is also helpful - someone to report in to at the end of the day to say "I did it."
Try this: Find a photo of a stooped-over decrepit woman. Enlarge it. Tape it on your wall above your computer (or whatever you write on). Make a few copies of that picture (or other pics of more debilitated women) and tape them up in strategic locations in your home.
See if that's motivation enough.
The exercises your chiropractor gave you are a walk in the park. You can do them.
Take it from an 80-year-old woman with a congenital heart defect, auto-immune syndrome, and inherited foot defects, who nevertheless is in great condition.
Thank you, Leslie! I sadly only have to look to my own mother who has such mobility issues, she hardly ever leaves her bed. That should be reason enough to do my damn PT exercises, UGH!
I’m positive this has already been said, but find a reason bigger than your discomfort, and don’t give yourself a choice about whether or not to show up.
(Also, low standards = low pressure. Start small. Like 10 minutes - small.)
This is all true and stellar advice. Very very small is what I need. I did some of my PT yesterday and this morning— mostly out of peer pressure from my wonderful readers, I think !
Hire a trainer and learn to lift weights (barbells). Start with the deadlift and the bench press. You will find extrinsic and intrinsic motivation when you see you are able to add a few (a few!) pounds every workout. Barbell deadlift, bench, squat, and overhead press, plus the barbell row, will strengthen many muscle systems at once so you won't have to do fussy little exercises (YMMV though since you said you need physical therapy -- do that too). Get the book "A Physical Education" by Casey Johnston - she does such a great job of telling you what it's like to learn to lift.
While I recognize that this would be very, very good for me…deadlifting just isn’t in my wheelhouse. It just isn’t. Maybe it will have to be at some point but right now, I’d rather have a colonoscopy than go lift weights at a gym. I know it works super well for many people, especially women, and I’m happy it works for you.
Fair enough! If anyone else reading has ever been curious about what it's like to start lifting, and to be surprised by the rewards of it, I hope people will read the book I mentioned above. Casey is a good reporter and the book is a really good combo of memoir and information. (I teach adults to lift, many of them older than 65, and I recommend this book to all of them even though Casey is in her late 30s.)
I hope others won’t be as stubborn as I am! And trust me, I’m sure my chiropractor is going to force me to lift soon.
If you ever have questions or need to be psyched up about it, please message me!
The post is so relatable and the ideas that spring to mind are probably quite similar to those you would give to people who don't nurture their writing practice as they feel they should:
1. Get a tracker so you can be extrinsically motivated and rewarded
2. Don't tackle everything at once. Pick one or two activities from those you know you should do and find incremental success. Success breeds success.
3. Find something similar to what's on the list of "shoulds" that you would actually enjoy. After all, at the end of the day, moving at all (writing some) is always going to be better than holding on to the current inertia
4. Exercise, like writing, is a habit. Start somewhere (see above) with a structure that works for you, not what someone prescribes or what you believe you ought to do
Thank you for taking the time to respond!
I struggle with physiotherapy exercises too because they are SO. MINDNUMBINGLY. BORING. But I do like lifting weights in the gym, so I do that around 4x per week. So I guess my advice is to find something you like and do that? Might not help on the physio side of things, though!
It's the physio I CAN NOT STAND! I have forms of exercise I like but not my gosh darn PT exercises.
oh god, i kinda hate this post cuz it's so timely. i too have slacked for the past 2 years and told myself for sure this summer and...now it is almost august. but one thing that did work (will work again oh please?) in the past was to start with the props: lay out that exercise mat and weights. put on the sports bra and shorts. it's almost too ridiculous to put all that shit away WITHOUT having used them. good luck to all of us!
Okay so...I put the props out like...six months ago? Yoga mat, shakti mat, and many many different weights. And, um....
oh i see…the resistance is strong😬
As determined and disciplined I am in my writing, I am lazy and avoidant with exercise LOL
Oh my goodness, I need this advice too. Help!
Glad we are in this together, truly!
I'm considering going to an endocrinologist to make sure I'm doing right by my body chemistry. 51 years old and probably perimenopausal, so all bets are off when it comes to what worked for my body 15 years ago!
This sounds very enticing…
Another thing! Back in 2019, the morning of New Year's Eve, I created a morning routine. 100 abs ( I do them in bed). Squats and lunges while brushing my teeth. 100 jumping jacks (ideally outdoors) to get blood flowing and sun on my face (sometimes I run in place because at our age, jumping jacks can make you pee), some arm thing (like 20 triceps backwards push-ups. No idea what they are called. I put each step on my daily post-it note 'to-do' list and cross them off. It's fast and makes me feel like I've done something productive.
Ah! Doing some of these exercises outside in the morning (in the sun, when we have sun) might change something for me...
Sexy (legit) neuroscientist guru Andrew Huberman has so many tips on habit-forming and morning routines. If your insomnia has you up at dawn, take advantage of the first daylight. The color spectrum does something magical (scientific) to our brains.
I am up, indeed at dawn so this is intriguing…
As a terrible sleeper myself, I've been dying to try his sleep methods. The morning seems manageable. The evenings are much much harder.
Ok. Honesty. 1) I run because it keeps my brain from exploding with thoughts. I'm saving the heavy drugs for when I really lose it. No judgement. I'm just biding my time. Some people meditate for focus. I must move... I've worked out chapters and even crafted essays five km in. It's also good cardio and keeps my legs strong. 2) I am single. That's motivating. I don't care what anybody says. Ideal world... blah blah blah. Physical appearance matters. At least it does to me. If I expect a man my age (also 46) or younger to be fit, I better be fit myself. 3) Marathons. I love the energy. Never cared about my pace. Try a race! It's contagious once you learn to listen to your body and ignore the time-clock. Just being in the moment with all of those people, doing the opposite of sitting alone at the writing desk, is so beautiful and balancing. I don't train. I just run often enough to make sure my body still can. And that seems to work pretty well so far. 4) Running is low maintenance. You need the right shoes (orthos included) and comfy clothes. Pump up the jams and enjoy. Treat yourself at the end. Dopamine is all about the chase. Lately I added some kilometers to my route expressly to reach an amazing espresso place. Good luck!
Thank you so so much for sharing, and honestly, as a woman-- single or not-- you need to be in shape to RUN AWAY from people.
Also true! And to catch buses and trains. It's a useful skill.
Thank you for sharing my essay class, Courtney! Here's how I motivate myself to exercise:
1. "Based on your age, sedentary lifestyle, and current fitness level, you won't even see significant improvements for about a year." Said to me by my physical therapist who helped me build up leg muscles after multiple knee cap dislocations. (It was PT and strength training, or surgery. I didn't want to do surgery).
It may not sound very motivational, but for me it took so much pressure off and gave me a realistic frame of reference. I knew exercise would be good for me, but I needed something to hold onto when it sucked the first six months. Because, yeah, that's how long I actually hated it, cried into my sweat, cursed the entire class time, and was always the slowest/last to finish/lightests weights/etc.
2. "All you have to do is get your ass in the door." My coach, after I said I didn't think I could build a workout habit that lasted. I chose a small gym, 5 minutes from my house with weightlifting classes that were expensive but led by coaches who'd build out every day's workout, structured into four week phases that alternate between muscle growth and conditioning (and a bunch of other stuff I don't know or understand and it doesn't matter because I only have to show up). Because the classes are small, my gym buddies and coaches give me shit if I miss a day, which is the kind of accountability I need. I didn't want to do it for myself in the beginning and instead of shaming myself, I worked WITH my need for a little peer pressure.
I always wanted to try weightlifting but was afraid to hurt myself and intimidated by gym bros. That's why I'm paying more to have the stuff that scares me taken care of, so I only have to focus on one thing each morning - get my ass in the door. I don't have to stay or work out. I can half ass it. I can just watch. My only job is to show up.
3. "Bones and Brain!" I thought getting ripped would be motivational, but it's not. Being terrified of surgery, of repeated dislocations, of bones snapping, and deep depression is what actually motivated me to keep going when I didn't want to. I chanted "bones and brain" to myself when I didn't want to go, or when I thought I had to earn a cupcake, or when I was sad that I'd actually gained weight (muscle) instead of getting skinnier.
At my age (43) it's harder to build and maintain muscle and accept these limitations now. I'm the strongest I've ever been in my life, but I've been at it for nearly 3 years, five times a week, and I only marginally "look" fitter. I realized that I used to lose motivation because I wanted to look better, not feel better.
This is not to say people can't have different reasons. I'm only saying I don't lose motivation for feeling better, but I have lost motivation many times for trying to look better.
4. Do it without motivation and hate it the entire time.
1-3 all sort of motivated me, but truly, motivation is overrated. I was always picked last in PE and never considered myself an athlete and I had such little muscle development that I couldn't even lift a full coffee pot without my arm shaking.
I picked weightlifting based on many different health reasons and because I was intrigued and because I wanted to feel like a badass. But I was not motivated to do the work itself. What helped me to keep going was trying to avoid knee surgery, research that exercise works better than antidepressants and I was suffering from seasonal depression, spending a shit ton of money for my gym membership and then making it worth it, having accountability built in (small classes, engaged coaches, a friend who went with me), removing barriers/excuses (picking gym close to my house, building it into my morning routine after my writing time, blocking it out on my calendar).
Okay, this is so damn long, I better stop. I'll just say, it might suck for a very long time until you start liking it and feeling better. In case that happens, there is nothing wrong with you.
Almost three years in - it's worth it. I just did my first ever pull up. My arms no longer shake when pouring coffee. I don't need knee surgery! I can hike anywhere I want. I installed an overhead microwave without crushing my own skull. I do feel like a badass :)
I have never in my life been able to be a pull up-- that's wild. Good for you. It sounds like you are in wildly amazing shape. Thank you so much for sharing all of this!
I wrote that whole thing before realizing that you didn't mean exercising in general, but finding the motivation to do your at-home PT exercises. Oooops! I never once did my at-home exercises!! Also, nobody has ever called me "in wildly amazing shape," but I'm totally claiming that for myself now :) Keep me posted on which suggestions you try.
It’s my fault— I don’t think I specified enough that I do enjoy exercise in general, just not my PT. Which is what I have to do if I want to keep having a useful body! But others will find your tips so useful, I have no doubt!
I go to classes. Left to my own devices, I will cheat. Cheat myself, as if I don’t count. That’s the fight.
Classes seem to be one of the most resounding things that works.
A guy I used to work with had a sign hanging up over his computer. "Eat right, exercise daily, die anyway." Now how can I argue with that logic!
HA!!!! This comment suits me LOl
Whenever I resist doing something that will be good for my wellbeing but feels as if it will take monstrous amounts of effort, I ask myself how I can bring ease to the activity. What is the tiniest possible step I could take to get me started? Instead of 25 sit-ups, what about one sit-up? Instead of a 30-second plank, what about a 5-second plank? Or setting a 1-minute timer. Even something as practical as putting on a sports bra and running shoes every morning makes me more likely to move. I also embrace the potentially not-mathematically-accurate saying, “One is infinitely more than zero,” which helps deprogram my brain from the perfectionism that tells me something is only worth doing if I do it “right.” Who’s to say what “right” is? I think much of these principles hold true in establishing practices around writing, so you might also ask yourself what about your writing practice has transferability to your exercise practice/posture practice. Also, being gentle with myself tends to be much more helpful than berating myself! 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼
Yes-- you are totally right and this resonates with me. One sit up a day and then my competitive streak will kick in, like, one sit up only? That's silly!
Courtney- I'm with you... I've found that I cannot do things from a piece of paper - I need someone to do it with me whether they are on an app or video or in person or whatever they have to literally be telling me what to do - tons of videos out there- live zoom etc etc message me if you want recs!
Thank you, Paige!
I realize I benefit from great privilege in being able to do this but I work out with a personal trainer twice a week. Having committed to doing so, I show up. I also got a list of daily exercises from a physical therapist. I hated them but tried them for a bit. They helped so now I do the ones that come more naturally. Perhaps promise yourself you will try for a week and then see how you feel. If they help, you might be motivated to continue.
This might seem counterintuitive, but I would recommend a daily guided meditation practice. Jack Kornfield has a wonderful introductory one called Mindfulness Daily. It's a 40-day guided course and only takes up 5 minutes or so of your morning. https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/course_mindfulness-daily You can get it on the InsightTimer App.
The reason I recommend meditation for exercise is that it calms your entire nervous system and grows your attention - for real - building new neural pathways, which give you the means to follow through on your deeper wishes and resolutions whether they be to do sit-ups - read more - or focus more deeply on your writing. And no need to freak out about meditation. it's not about controlling your thoughts, but observing them as they wander all over the place.
Getting a meditation and exercise buddy for accountability is also helpful - someone to report in to at the end of the day to say "I did it."
Good luck!
I try to meditate on my Shakti mat, which I really enjoy....and because it's painful and improves circulation, maybe it's a form of exercise....? ;)
Haha! Whether or not you do your situps, you will always be able to make people laugh. Much more valuable.👍
Try this: Find a photo of a stooped-over decrepit woman. Enlarge it. Tape it on your wall above your computer (or whatever you write on). Make a few copies of that picture (or other pics of more debilitated women) and tape them up in strategic locations in your home.
See if that's motivation enough.
The exercises your chiropractor gave you are a walk in the park. You can do them.
Take it from an 80-year-old woman with a congenital heart defect, auto-immune syndrome, and inherited foot defects, who nevertheless is in great condition.
Thank you, Leslie! I sadly only have to look to my own mother who has such mobility issues, she hardly ever leaves her bed. That should be reason enough to do my damn PT exercises, UGH!