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Courtney Maum's avatar

Cort, I'm repasting here a comment from a writer and teacher Sonal Champsee who isn't a paid subscriber and thus can't comment, but she gave me permission to share her comment to you, here:

"Many writers take publishing/querying etc as validation, as proof that they have to right to do this, they they deserve to be writers.

It's an understandable attitude because we live in a world that doesn't value art so much as it values commercial success, so of course, actually getting the agent or the publishing deal feels like concrete proof that we deserve to take the time away from the other parts of our lives to create art.

And since writing and creative work is so vital to many us, the idea of publishing or conventional success as validation makes it particularly soul-crushing when we get a rejection, or when we are waiting for months with no answer.

But…. Publishing is a matter of taste, timing, talent and tenacity. You only control two if these. Excellent, wonderful writers get rejected regularly. Acceptance is an awesome feeling, but it has absolutely nothing to do with whether or not you deserve to write.

It. Has. Nothing. To. Do. With. Whether. You. Deserve. To. Write.

You deserve to write and create and put your heart and soul on a page because you are human. You deserve it simple because you exist and you want to. You don't need to earn a place, it's yours because your heart and soul wants to create something.

That we deserve to do this has nothing to do with landing an agent or getting book deal or our financial success, although all those things would be really nice. That has nothing to do with your value as a writer and creative being: the world is dumb, the world doesn't make enough space for art and artists, the world does not have the right to tell you that you cannot write and create no matter how many barriers it sticks in your way.

It not always easy to remember this, because the world has so deeply ingrained its values into us. But don't look at this as validation. Publishing is business, not art. It does not determine your right to be an artist. You deserve to write."

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Molly Roden Winter's avatar

My experience speaks to both the memoir proposal question and the querying process. I first queried agents with a full ms of my memoir, only to receive rejections or silence from 50 agents. (Note: Do not query 50 agents at a time. Everyone told me not to do this. But I did it anyway. Oops.) Luckily, I'd kept a short list of other agents who only accepted book proposals for memoirs, not full manuscripts. So I signed up for an online proposal-writing course taught by an agent in Toronto. This person loved my concept, my voice, and my writing style and offered to represent me. Then he said, "But you have to start over." Turns out, the manuscript I thought was ready was actually far from it. But a year later, with a lot of help from a wonderful agent who believed in my book, I had written the first 100 pages of a new draft, created a great proposal, and got a deal with a Big 5 publisher! Moral of the story (I think) is to be willing to get genuine feedback from people whose opinion you respect. Being done with a draft you're excited about is a great first step, but you may still have a long way to go. And that's okay!

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